bad blood

GOOD NEWS:  

Yesterday  I got my port put in.  We left home at 8:50am and I went from sitting in the car to a hospital bed and --- waited for almost 5 hours.....  They finally wheeled me in at 3:30, started the surgery and all I was looking forward to was a pleasant "versaid nap". 

My blood pressure tanked too much, so versaid became oh, so much a dream.  I was awake for the procedure, which was fine - they all want to change jobs and work as veterinarians, so I just listened and smiled.   Everything went well, and there is swelling and bruising, but it is working today, albeit tender.

BAD NEWS:

My white blood cells have hit their lowest ever.  My platelets were more than sliced in half and - and my hemoglobin is in such a state that they are setting me up for a blood transfusion as I wait.......

The nurse commented that "with blood work like this, if someone so much as coughs on you, you will be in the hospital for a week"...... another two weeks of quarantine and isolation.  I can't wait. 

They said they "hope" that as hard as the chemo is hitting my body and blood work, that it is "hitting the cancer as much". 

I obviously missed another chemo treatment today.

And the same old, same old - If you must go out, wear a mask.  If you cannot open it up with a can opener, don't eat it.  It doesn't matter a whole lot, as there is not enough appetite to make that sound bad anymore.

I guess under the good news listing would also be the fact that I do not have to take that last dose of Ro on Friday that I usually sit and look at for a long time before swallowing it.......

I feel like little Oliver Twist and just asking the tough taskmaster -- "I want more, please?"  I just want to get through treatment and get to surgery.  I have done everything and then some to prop up my poor blood showings. 

None of that has mattered,  it seems that cancer runs this show and you just throw it a few peanuts hoping to tame it......  I am pretty devastated. 

If you are looking for a silver lining here - I have fingernails.  Who would have thought.