No again.....

My blood work was down again, so no chemo for me today......Again.

One might say my white blood cells dropped faster than than a pitcher hit with a line drive.  (we do have three channels of nothing but baseball here in this household)    

It also appears that I am now in the category called "the bottom two" within the study I am in - meaning there is only one other woman with worse blood than me.

My bone marrow for whatever reason cannot recover and do the job.  Because I am in the study I cannot get the injections to boost my white blood cell counts.  If I step out of the study being half way through it, my drug protocol would not change except that I would have to drop the study drug.  (say 'higher risk')

So we are thinking and praying for guidance and don't know what to do.

We are thankful for a few things -- when they first told me about my immunity and being careful about germs -- I kind of scoffed, but then my brain went immediately to my last low immunity year(s).  I was diagnosed with Graves disease about four years ago and had lost fifty pounds and felt pretty weak and sick before the diagnosis was made.

By then my thyroid was pretty much wildly out of control and there was some concern that my heart could be affected, so at that time it was decided that the best thing to do was to kill my thyroid with radiation.

The next couple of months were even more of a roller coaster than the previous couple of years had been, as my thyroid was trying it's darndest to live, and pumping out too much one day, then none the next day.  I would be dead beat tired either way.  But it finally gasped it's last and I started thyroid replacement therapy.

It was a long couple of years.  My body felt beat up and spent past exhaustion.  

All this to bring us to this point - while on the thyroid roller coaster I was placed on beta blockers.  My endocrinologist mentioned that this could affect my immunity some, and to be careful around germs.  The year leading up to this had been full of sore throats, strep, bladder infections, flu, respiratory anything -- if anyone had any germ anywhere on their person within 30 feet of me, it stepped up to me, introduced itself, and moved in.  If someone walked into our office and said they had been in contact with someone who was sick - I got it.  I could catch the third cousin once removed flu from anyone exposed two months before.  

This was just not me.  I am usually the "strong one" -- I didn't get chicken pox when I was little even. Maybe all of my sick days were set aside to be used up later.  I don't know...... 

So lower my immunity a bit and I was one big sick day for quite a while.  I got to the point that if I heard someone cough, I stepped back two unconscious steps.  Then went and scrubbed my hands for four minutes. 

I still do that when I hear people sneeze or cough or complain of a sore throat. My body is on automatic pilot when it hears any germ activity within three miles. 

So here we are four years down the road, and I am once again low immunity, and this is what all this sordid information was pointing to -- I've had one minor sore throat and one bladder infection that needed to be treated in the last four months.

Because I already know how often and how sick I can get when my immunity is down, this is downright miraculous.  Granted, I haven't been out of the house a whole lot, but still, I haven't caught first hand, nor second hand germ-anything.

That is *amazing*.  I'm almost afraid to say it out loud. 

I do thank God Almighty in heaven with being able to say that He has provided protection over me on this for almost four months.  

That is pretty incredible when just a few years ago, I couldn't escape a germ if my very life depended on it.  And it does this time, so again, thank you Jesus.  

*******

If you are a human adding machine, as some people are, you will realize that Scott had a knee replacement, I had Graves, Scott was seriously ill for over a year, then we slammed into cancer.  All within the last five years.

It has been a long time since we have pieced together more than two months of "feel good"......

Also in those last five years, we have had five grand babies that bless us beyond blessed; and a tutorial on how God wants us to help and love each other from some pretty great friends.  

We ask you to pray for us - we truly do not know which way to turn, which way to go with this treatment and study drug.  Only God knows, and we ask that He give us a word from Him somehow, some guidance.  He says "if any lacks wisdom, let him ask of God".  So we are. 

In the meantime, I am planning to put on my "chemo-sun-hat", go sit outside and see if I can't boss around my favorite 'lawn guy' a little bit.

It is a beautiful day.