Things your oncologist never tells you........

We met with my oncologists for over two and a half hours the first day I was at James. They asked me maybe 313 times if I had "any other questions". I asked them about the drugs. I asked them about the side effects of chemo. I asked them how much work I would miss.

Funny, I never thought to ask them about STEROIDS!!!!

For those of you who may walk this journey one day, this is just a kindly FYI:
IV + chemo = high dose steroids..... (I am trying to do justice to my awesome freshman Algebra teacher here - she might be proud of my formulation ability) Unbeknownst to me, they go hand in hand, like dandelions and Roundup.

My body's natural tendency to hurl back anything that might be harmful to it must be suppressed.

As the "Stage One Trial Nurse" placed the IV cath she tells me that I am getting injectable Benadryl to calm my allergic response, which is my usual drug of choice anyways, so I was all good thinking I would sleep off some of the long hang-around-the-hospital hours. I understood the need to suppress my body's allergic reactionary tendencies. As the IV dripped, I indeed got very sleepy and dozed a little bit.

Then the very gates of Haedes opened and out stepped unknowingly-steroided-karen. High dose steroid feels like you are swiftly rising in a cyclone - on the outside - commanding it - and heaven help anyone or anything in that path of destruction. I have seen vipers on the animal channel not feeling that nasty.

I was blind sided - I had no idea what was happening - all I knew was that suddenly I had a strong desire to just be meaner than the River Haedes is wide and long. I could have thrown something. I could have picked up something heavy and heaved it menacingly. I could have yelled huge obscenities and not registered one heartfelt tug of remorse.

I think the demons were even quaking a bit.

Enter, poor hapless husband sitting demurely at the end of my bed looking at my new smart phone........ Combine all the "roid-rage" you might see in 3 nights of World Wide Wresting TV and you will know -- Scott didn't stand a chance.

All I can say is after 3 hours of high intense emotional bronco riding - that I was trying to hide from the hospital personnel because there was a morsel within me wanting to be *nice* to them - we are still married.

In fact, I have the kindest husband in the world - he was startled and looked at me like I had 3 heads - of which 2 were spinning around - but he eventually caught on and just smiled and nodded and said I would feel better soon.

He didn't try to pat my arm, though. Kind and smart all in one.