Appliques

My brain is so toast. 

So today I have been contemplating things such as "leopard" - which according to the Home Shopping Network is something I need in a coat, a scarf, a hat, a rug, a chair, toilet paper - wallpaper even.....  I had no idea.  I don't usually watch the Home Shopping Network - heck I never even knew what they really did, but today, I have been informed. 

They also said something else I took note of - the whole 42 minutes that I watched them - that has troubled and perplexed me somewhat:  it appears this "is the year of the eyebrow"...... I could feel my sparse eyebrows whimper a little.  That's gonna hurt seeing all those luscious eyebrows on all those women, knowing if I have 6 left to count by the end of next week I will be doing well.

That thought led me to finally look at some information "they" hand out - "they" being your oncologist, your surgeon, your hospital, your nurses, your pharmacist, your boutique attached to the hospital, the nurses aids, the water boy - everyone has something to hand out to you. 

I know where all the Cancer Society money goes now - it goes to hand outs.  

This is just a "heads-up" to those walking through those doors later on:  It appears if you have cancer, one should take along a big tote with you, because you hear this a lot:  "here - take this".   You get a hand out about everything - except for the four things I had to call my doctor about today. 

After some searching, I found it -- believe it or not -- there is a hand out on "APPLIQUE EYEBROWS".......  I am sitting here pondering that.  What if they go on a little crooked?  What if they are a little low?  I mean really, how does it all work?  

One might have a little fun with this -- Star Trek comes to mind.  Or the wicked witch with the deep "V" in her brows, or you can have a perennial look of surprise - like some women look like after a face lift......

I've seen applique patches ironed on, but I doubt the same applies to one's forehead. 

So I am drumming my fingers, trying to beg my brain to de-fog a little, and wondering.  I mean, how does one know even what color to choose?? 

I.am.bamboozled. 

And then, I pull out the eyelash application information pamphlet which appears to be the " Eyebrow Applique's" evil twin when it comes to pamphlet pieces of literature..... wow. 

My brain just flew into a safe bay in a galaxy far away, waiting to de-log all this information overload.  I knew you could put on extra eyelashes, but it appears to be a bit trickier if you do not have a lot of lashes to begin with. 

A three-page-pamphlet when I can barely read my own address on a piece of paper?  Three pages when I have to line up my empty water bottles on the counter to make sure I am "intaking" enough each day?  

I'm guessing in my state of mind there is the *slightest* chance that the two could get mixed up.  It might be a long couple of months here folks. 

And we thought the chemo was tough......